Just in Case
by Shipsinthenight11
Summary: "No, we're not doing anything just in case, ok? I'll be at the hospital. You should be in bed." Lexa turned and stormed out of the nursery. Hearing the door slam Clarke sat back down on the bed and addressed the now empty apartment. "Thank you. I love you too by the way." Or One Tree Hill scene turned Clexa fic


"The Honorary Title, Matthew Ryan, The Cure, Audioslave, they're all on here. Its music to set your life to, and music always helps, no matter what you're going through." Clarke let out a long sigh, taking in the nursery around her. The one that Lexa had built for her. The blonde had avoided looking directly at the camera until now, too afraid of the tears she knew would come. She took a deep breath and lifted her eyes from the small iPod in her hands up to the camera, desperately trying to keep her tears at bay.

"So if you flunk a big test or have a really bad breakup. Or you just miss someone _so_ bad it hurts…then listen to my playlist." A single tear ran down her cheek as she pushed through the giant lump that had formed in her throat. Quickly swiping the tear away, Clarke placed a hand on her pregnant belly and continued. "A hundred songs to save your life, alright? It should help."

Clarke paused again, but this time, to let out a small laugh as she reminisced. "You have no idea how much some of these songs meant to your mom and I."

* * *

 _"Lex, stop it" the blonde laughed. Lexa had spent the last half hour trying to cheer up her girlfriend after a bad surgery. The brunette had run out of jokes and had resorted to dancing it out. Lexa pulled Clarke to her feet and started to bounce around to Little Pieces by Gomez._

 _"Come on Clarke, shake what the good lord gave you. Let me see that ass." A playful smile danced around her full lips as she continued to encourage her beautiful girlfriend to let it all go. Clarke was extremely good at what she did. She knew it, Lexa knew it, everybody knew it. Parents brought their kids to her from all over the world but sometimes, being the best just wasn't enough, and that was hard for the high caliber surgeon to accept. It broke Lexa's heart to see the immense weight on her shoulders after every bad outcome and she took it upon herself to lift as much of that weight off as she could. That's what people in love did for each other right? Even if the actual words hadn't been exchanged yet, Lexa knew that the flutter in her heart she felt everyday had to be love. There was no other explanation. Now she just had to say it out loud._

 _"Wow you really are an ass woman aren't you?" Pulled from her thoughts, Lexa's smile widened._

 _"I can't help it babe, your ass, it just calls to me." Clarke slapped the brunette's arm playfully but she couldn't help the larger than life smile that broke out across her face, and Lexa knew then that she had finally gotten through to her._

 _"You ready?_

 _"Of course."_

 _"And here it comes."_

 _As the couple bounced and pop and locked, they were constantly touching each other, whether they were conscious of it or not. Whether it was an innocent holding of hands or pulling entire bodies towards each other, they were inexplicably drawn to each other. Lexa had pulled Clarke's back into her front and despite the still upbeat tempo of the music, they had slowed into an intimate sway when Clarke suddenly turned to face Lexa._

 _"Something wrong Clarke?" The blonde shook her head no which only served to further confuse her girlfriend._

 _"I love you, Lexa". Her jaw dropped as her mind raced to fully understand what had just happened._

 _"What? Wh- I mean really?"_

 _"Really." As immensity of the moment finally settled in, Lexa let out a huge sigh of relief, one that she had been holding in since the first time she lost herself in the ocean of Clarke's deep blue eyes._

 _"Good because I am so in love with you Clarke Griffin."_

* * *

"Being a kid without one of your parents really sucks, and I know because I've been there. My dad was taken from me when I was little and it was just me and my mom. And if you're watching this, that means you're in that place too. And I am so sorry for that. But if you ever need a mom and dad fix, you have Bell and Raven for that.

 _"Bellamy give that back! You gave me a copy when you and Raven had Jamie and I promised to make you one but I kind of need the original to make copies!" Reaching up as high as she could on the tips of her toes, Clarke attempted to retrieve her sonogram from the ridiculously tall man._

 _"Come on Bell, I'd hate to have to tell my kid that she doesn't have a godfather because her momma killed him over a sonogram." This seemed to do the trick and he relented._

 _"Sorry Princess, I couldn't help it. He's gonna be a cute kid." Clarke raised an eyebrow at that and, against her better judgment, she asked, "He? How do you know it's going to be a boy? It's too soon to tell."_

 _Bellamy shrugged, "It's a gut feeling." Laughing at his ridiculous antics and wide goofy grin, she linked their arms and they continued through the lobby of the hospital lobby towards the exit. Looking up, she saw Raven and Jamie waiting for Bellamy and she suddenly stopped._

 _"What if I'm not cut out for this Bell? What if I just end up ruining this kid's life?"_

 _"Clarke that's not going to happen."_

 _"How do you do it? Jamie is such a great kid and you and Raven are so good with him." Bellamy locked eyes with Clarke and saw true terror in her eyes. Gripping her shoulders, he did his best to ease her fears._

 _"You and Lexa are going to be great parents. Do you hear me? This little freak out that you're having is completely normal. In fact mine was worse, just ask Raven. Jamie made it easy for us. He's the greatest kid you could ask for and he's going to be the best big brother to your little one" Clarke let out a small laugh and felt her nerves calm a little._

 _"Look kid, you just have to take things one step at a time. Me and Raven will be here for you two every step of the way. Now go home to your girl…cause I'm going home with mine." With a kiss to the top of her head, Bellamy knelt and held his arms out wide. Clarke's smile grew as she watched little 3-year old Jamie run towards his hero._

 _"Trust me, Princess. Everything's going to be fine." Bellamy picked up his kid, wrapped his arm around his wife and led them out of the hospital. Clarke watched the family leaving with a small smile, praying that her future held something similar in store for her._

 _Suddenly Clarke felt a sharp pain in her stomach. "No" she whispered, clutching her belly. "Please, no"_

 _Another wave of searing pain forced her to her knees and she cried out, "BELLAMY!" then the world escaped her and darkness closed in._

* * *

"Best friend. Ok this one is so important. Choose wisely ok? I got really lucky with mine. My best friend is strong, funny, intelligent, creative, _beautiful_ , successful, and very very kind." At this point, Clarke had given up on holding back tears and was letting them fall. She chuckled at her thoughts and continued. "She's also impulsive, _frustrating, complicated, and childish…_ but I would _not_ have her any other way." Taking a moment to compose herself and wipe her eyes she smiled and looked into the camera. And the best part about Octavia Blake is that she always puts her friends first. So if you are ever in any kind of trouble, now you know _who_ to call. I can't think of anyone I would rather have watching over you."

 _"Lexa what the hell happened?" The brunette made her way over to her best friend's hospital room and approached the woman standing by the door._

 _"Octavia, hey." Lexa took a breath and pushed herself to explain things despite the hurricane of thoughts swirling around inside her hear. "Bellamy said they were walking out together when she collapsed. Abby was here to see her and apparently Clarke has a condition called placenta previa."_

 _"_ _What the hell does that mean? Is she going to be ok? Is the baby?"_

 _Lexa continued, "It means that she has to have surgery, and if everything goes perfectly, they'll both be fine." Octavia didn't know Lexa all that well. Well, at least not as well as she knew Clarke, but she could tell that the brunette was a breath away from completely losing it. She was keeping to together for her fiancé and Octavia loved that her best friend had found someone with that kind of strength._

 _"Lex come on, what if everything doesn't go perfectly" Lexa opened her mouth to answer but the words refused to come out. Or maybe there were no words. Finally overwhelmed, she turned away to hide her tears as they broke through the dam and fell mercilessly._

 _"I can answer that" Abby had stepped up behind Lexa and held her daughter's love as she locked eyes with Octavia._

 _"If she goes through with this pregnancy, we could lose them both." At this, Octavia pushed past Abby and barged into the room, shutting the door behind her._

 _"Clarke Griffin I am going to kick your ass."_

 _"What did I do?" Clarke smiled weakly and patted the space next to her on the tiny bed. Sighing, Octavia made her way around the bed and laid down. Her warrior façade never lasted very long around her best friend._

 _"You know why, Griffin. You're not going to end the pregnancy." It wasn't a question; it was a statement, plain and simple. Octavia couldn't see it, but Clarke shook her head and smiled at how well her friend knew her._

 _"No I'm not. Me and the little munchkin are going to be just fine. I can feel it." She took her best friend's hands and placed them on her growing stomach. "How can I just end this?" she pleaded._

 _"Octavia, I'm not saying that I'm giving up, but if something does happen to me, I need you to take care of Lexa."_

 _"Clarke, stop that…"_

 _"Please, just hear me out. I need to have this baby, but the thought of leaving Lexa…" Clarke sighed as she searched for the words, "that just shatters me completely. I need to know that you won't let her spiral or shut herself down because she will. I know she will. I don't want her to be alone and I need you to make sure that she's not."_

 _"Damn it Griffin." Octavia wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "Alright I promise."_

 _"Thank you. I love you, you know that?"_

 _"Yeah, yeah" she scoffed, rolling her eyes._

 _"BUT, if I find out that you pimped her out to some guy, I will haunt your ass forever."_

 _Octavia sat up and looked down at the weaker version of her person. "You are ridiculous, but I love you."_

 _"I love you too buddy"_

* * *

"Now I really hope that we get to share all these things together, but just in case, it's all right here." Gripping the box tightly, she steadied herself, praying for the strength to get through this next message. "Now there is just one thing that I need from you."

There's this funny thing about strength and it's that there's a surge of it that rises fiercely with the need to protect your heart. And simply put, Lexa was Clarke's heart. Pushing through, she looked up from the box and tried desperately to imagine she was staring into sea green or maybe sky blue eyes, and speaking to her future child. "Please take very special care of your mother… because if I'm not around, she's going to need you to take care of her just like my mom needed me. So love her and take care of her and be kind to her." Swallowing the lump in her throat, she pleaded one last time in a strangled whisper, "Just please do that for me."

"Clarke, what is this?" Tearful blue eyes snapped to the doorway and met with Lexa's angry green.

"I just thought I should" the blonde said in a breathless whisper, breaking eye contact.

"No, no you said everything was gonna be ok. _You_ said that." Clarke stood, placing her time capsule on the chair, and made her way over to her fiancé.

"Ok but Lex, baby if it isn't, I want our child to be able to remember me. It's just in case." Lexa set her jaw and lifted Clarke's chin so she could look straight into her vulnerable blue eyes.,

"Our child's not going to have to remember you. Do you hear me? Our child is gonna know you. We're not doing this Clarke."

"Lexa" she sighed.

Lexa threw her hands up and shouted at the blonde, "A death video? A sad box of stuff? I'm not having any of this. I mean what's next?"

"I want to get married." the blonde was desperate now and took a step closer, reaching for her hands and hoping to soften her fiancé.

"Absolutely not." Lexa jerked away, backing out of the nursery. "You're supposed to be taking it easy. Ok, look after you have this baby and you're all better then well get married.

"I want to get married. Now"

"Why!" The brunette was yelling, now sporting tears of her own. "Why is it so important to do it now?

"Because…"

"No, we're not doing anything just in case, ok? I'll be at the office. You should be in bed." Lexa turned and stormed out. Hearing the door slam Clarke sat back down on the bed and addressed the now empty apartment.

"Thank you. I love you too by the way."

It was almost midnight when Lexa had finally cooled off enough to go back home. Quietly opening the bedroom door, she saw her beautiful, pregnant fiancé asleep under the covers. Leaving as quietly as she came, the heart-heavy woman turned and wandered into the freshly painted nursery. Looking around she sighed in frustration. _It was too early._ In all of the pregnancy excitement, she had gotten ahead of herself and surprised Clarke with a dream nursery. The walls were a gender-neutral yellow and there was a window that let light flood perfectly into the sizable room. Stuffed animals dominated the shelves and the crib. And not just your typical bears either; there were giraffes and monkeys and turtles and penguins. The dresser was filled with the cutest designer onesies that Raven could get her hands on, as let's not forget the obligatory "I LOVE MY MOMMIES" onesie. It was perfect.

Lexa collapsed into the sky blue rocking chair and rested her heavy head in her hands. If anything happened to Clarke or this baby, she would never forgive herself. After all, this was all her fault.

* * *

" _Are we seriously going to flip for this?"_

" _Come on Clarke, where's your sense of adventure?" Lexa dug through the contents of her purse and pulled out a shiny quarter._

" _Lexa, babe this is really important. Its nine whole months and we're gonna flip a coin?"_

" _Look you want to carry this baby and so do I. The only way to settle this is to let the universe decide." As serious as this conversation should have been, Lexa's smile never faltered once. Either way, they were going to have a child together. That was reason enough for her to smile for the rest of her life._

" _Wipe that grin off your face, you dork" laughed the blonde._

" _I will if you will." Lexa winked, finally convinced that her girlfriend was on board._

" _Heads, you carry the baby and tails, I do" said Clarke. Clarke took the offered quarter and rested it between her thumb nail and index finger._

" _One…two…three!" Green and blue eyes watched as the quarter spun in the hair. A tanned hand reached up and snatched it out of the air._

" _Wait!" Lexa shouted._

" _What, what is it?" said a startled Clarke. The coin was still held tightly in her fist._

" _I don't want to see the coin. I want you to carry this baby. I want our first child to have your eyes and your hair and your everything. If this is what you want, I want it too."_

 _A smile crept onto Clarke's stunned face. "You mean that?"_

" _Of course I do, Clarke. Plus it's not like this is going to be our last kid." Lexa laughed at the way her girlfriend shook her head vigorously. "So it's settled then. We'll make an appointment with Abby in the morning. But first, I have something I want to ask you"_

" _What's that?"_

 _Lexa was nervous and her next words came out a little rushed. "Willyoumarryme?"_

" _What?"_

 _The lack of a yes prompted a nervous ramble from the Lexa. "Clarke I love you so much and I want you to be my wife and I want us to be a real family with a real house and a white picket fence and a backyard swing set and I want to spend the rest of my life with y-"_

 _The brunette never got to finish her sentence as she was suddenly lying back on their bed, facing the ceiling._

 _All she knew was that she was being attacked by sweet lips and that was perfectly fine by her. "Yes yes yes yes of course I'll marry you, Lexa. Thank you so much for tonight. First with the baby and now with this?" Clarke was now sporting a sly grin "You're about to get very lucky." Closing her eyes, Lexa had one last thought before she gave complete control over to the beautiful blonde on top of her…_ This may just be the best idea I've ever had.

* * *

Lifting her head, Lexa spotted Clarke's box a few feet away. She walked over and angrily, she ripped off the top. Settling back into the chair she began to sift through the items. The first thing she recognized was the little iPod that Clarke would carry with her everywhere. Scrolling through the playlists, she stopped at one that read "100 songs to save your life."

"Oh Clarke" Every song in there had some significance to the two of them together. The first song they danced to together, the song that was playing during their first kiss, their first time, their first 'I love you's'. She recognized every single song and every last one of them broke her heart a little more.

Replacing the ipod, Lexa found their photo album. Ever since their 6 month anniversary, they had been putting together pictures of their lives. Lexa put that aside and found a stack of sketch papers. She thumbed through the pages and was confused when she just saw numbers on them. Then she flipped them over.

"God damn it, Clarke." Lexa always knew that her girlfriend was quite the artist but this was something else entirely. On those pages was their story…their whole story. How they met and how they fell in love, it was all there. Lexa laughed at the first drawing. It was a beautiful rendering of a rundown bar with a caption that read " _Romance can start in the strangest places, and grow into…"_ Lexa flipped to the next page, hoping that the sentence would be continued.

She wasn't disappointed. The next page was the two of the kissing passionately outside of Clarke's hospital. " _the most beautiful love affair in the history of the world. So... if your head ever starts to win out against your heart, just remember that I wouldn't have met the love of my life without a little risk."_

A single tear splashed onto the drawing and Lexa rushed to wipe it dry. Even when she was mad at the stubborn blonde, Lexa loved her fiercely and she was going to fight to keep her here as long as she could. And that's what hurt the most about all of this. It felt like Clarke was giving up.

Another page showed the nursery and Lexa pulling a blindfold off of Clarke, both of them with impossibly wide smiles. Sighing deeply, Lexa put the drawings aside and picked up the small stack of papers. The first was a legal document declaring that in the event of her death, custody of any child of hers would go to Lexa. Trying to stop the sobs and tears now wouldn't do any good so she just flipped to the next page. The rest of the papers were similar; her will, account information, etc. As she was adding those to the pile she had already seen, a letter dropped to the ground. Carefully opening the seal, Lexa began to read.

 _My dearest,_

 _I'm know that you deserve to have so much more than what's in this box but its all that I can give you and I'm so sorry for that. Now I've said most of what I needed to say in the video but there is just one more thing I want to add. I want you to know that I fought hard. I fought so hard to be able to know you, baby. I don't want you to ever think that you have all of these things because I simply decided it was easier to just give up and die. I would never do that to your mother. I fought tooth and nail to be with you and if you're reading this, that means that I lost. Just know that I made death work for every last breath because every second that I would get to spend with you and your mother would have been worth a life-time's worth of pain. Your mom is mad at me right now but she can never resist me for very long. She's just scared, and there's nothing wrong with being scared sometimes, but letting it stop you from living? Letting it stop you from loving? There's something very wrong with that. Just remember that, sweetheart, and your life will be just as blessed as mine was._

 _Don't ever feel alone because I will always be with you. I promise you that. I don't want you to feel sad about me because my life was so amazing. I had a great love, and that's more than most people can say about their lives. Your mother made my world turn. She made the sky bluer and food taste better and all of that cheesy romantic crap. She made all the songs make sense and I will love her forever. I will love you both forever._

 _With all of my heart_

 _Mom_

Still frozen in shock, Lexa carefully tried to put the letter back into the envelope but there was another paper blocking it. Pulling it out, she unfolded it to reveal the last page of the drawings. It was the two of them standing in gorgeous white dresses in front of their friends and family, smiling impossibly wide as they held hands at the altar. This one was addressed to Lexa, and the caption read, " _Don't ever cry about me, baby. I dreamed about love and I found it. I got to be insanely, out of my mind in love and I don't regret a thing."_ With newfound determination, Lexa replaced all of the items back into the box and carried it into the living room where she found Clarke on the couch.

"There's still one thing missing from this" Lexa said.

"And what's that?" said Clarke warily.

"Our wedding photo." Clarke's face lit up immediately with the brightest smile Lexa had ever seen. Clarke pushed herself to sit up straighter.

"Really? We can get married _right_ away?"

"Yes, baby. But… only if Abby says it's alright" The blonde nodded excitedly, smiling and giggling like a school girl.

"But it's not because of the baby, or our situation, or…well any other damn thing. I want you to be my wife." Clarke dropped her head, overwhelmed, but Lexa lifted her chin and locked their eyes. "Because _I love you_. I love you with everything I am." A mix of pregnancy hormones and an emotional overload caused a flood of happy tears as Clarke threw her arms around her wife and held on for dear life. She never wanted to let go.

" _I love you too."_


End file.
